January 2010
63 posts
okayfinesarah:
So wake up, and if the holidays don’t hollow out your eyes, then press yourself against whatever you find to be beautiful and trembling with life because I’m so happy you didn’t die.
sarahjessicamarmaladeakamarmie:
dear-sir-and-or-maam:
cirrusminor:
things i will never compromise on
i like neutral milk hotel more than you do
anal sex
that is an out-hole not an in-hole
lol if you want i can do you up the butt with a strap on
no but seriously fuck you
the lyrics to the song “blue” by eiffel 65 are “aba dee aba die”, not “if i was green i...
i am forever doomed to have bad eyebrows
Q: what’s red and crawls up your leg? A: a homesick abortion
“i am going to die with a virgin butthole”
– me
tokophobia →
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
i hate babies
chatting about the lovely bones with meghan*
*SPOILERS ~~~
meghan: finished the book, i hated it
me: why?
meghan: cause the fucker that killed her never got caught and she only stayed on earth for like six hours.. it pissed me off
me: at least she got to bone that hot indian guy from beyond the grave
i am not long for this world
my upper rib/back area hurts i think my kidneys are going to fail you guys
my parents are talking about me going to the doctor and my father continues to mention me urinating into a cup with much flourish, as if that is going to be an important event
i’ve adjusted my theme and description to reflect my current interests more efficiently
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY TREE GOD amen
things i will never compromise on
i like neutral milk hotel more than you do
anal sex
that is an out-hole not an in-hole
lol if you want i can do you up the butt with a strap on
no but seriously fuck you
the lyrics to the song “blue” by eiffel 65 are “aba dee aba die”, not “if i was green i would i die” (!!!!)
never having children
not getting...
guys i put garlic salt on everything is that safe
bros 4 lyf compilation
aubrey
guy at hot topic named ray or ra who said i had sweet moccasins and fist pounded me in a non sexual way
laura
laura’s sort of creeper boyfriend
edith ???
sean
shanise
PLACES IN AMERICA THAT I DEFINITELY KNOW WHERE...
opmuh:
New York
California
Washington (the state)
Texas
Florida
everywhere else is a mystery to me.
this, with the addition of nebraska for obvious reasons i actually live in the united states /shame
SEETHING RAGE
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Why can’t the man swallow his own seed if the woman does not want to? It would not be homosexual because it is his own, and it would not spill. How can I partake of the spiritual replenishment of the living water without being homosexual?
There is nothing in the Scriptures that prohibits a man from swallowing his own semen if he so chooses. In fact, this is an ideal solution for...
So far we have only discussed a husband fisting his wife, but some couples may wonder if it is appropriate for a wife to fist her husband if he enjoys anal stimulation. In most cases, a wife indulging her husband’s desire to receive light anal play is not problematic in the context of a healthy sexual relationship. A wife may even anally penetrate her partner with a strap-on dildo if he enjoys...
Fisting and God’s Will
The sex act called fisting is a source of confusion and misconceptions for many Christians. This is unfortunate, because it means that many Christian men and women are depriving themselves of what could be the most spiritual sexual experience of their lives. Like anal sex and BDSM, fisting is often mistakenly associated with the gay community or is considered a sex...
opmuh:
why do all americans have aim goddamnit get an msn account you asshats no one uses aol it’s irrelevant.
thank you i hate everyone who has an aim and expects me to get one maybe you should get an msn you piece of shit yeah yeah you you know who i’m talking about
ok
lola, the kinks LA LA LA LA LOOOOLAAAAA WELL...
pork2k:
i am not like an onion i do not have layers
i am like a peach my skin tastes weird and hairy and the stuff inside is all sticky and then there’s a giant seed you dont even know what to do with
sometimes i wonder if my mother was a mail-order bride
i wish i could speak in italics
opmuh:
cirrusminor:
my dad talks to himself while he watches television
i talk to the tv so what what’re you implying shut up
so hostile i can hear him talking to the characters from seinfeld from the living room to my room i’m not sure where i was going with that but maybe you’ll end up like him someday he plays everquest 2 in my basement and is bald and pasty white this...
my dad talks to himself while he watches television
1 tag
opmuh:
no just cause you’re liking it after the fact doesn’t mean you’re getting a request
god dammit i tried subtlety is not my strong suit
girl crushes:
mélanie laurent
charlotte gainsbourg
rachel mcadams
charlotte gainsbourg’s cover of just like a woman oh my god i was fully prepared to do her after the science of sleep and now i’m just going to have to rape her
also slightly related sidenote stephen malkmus did covers of ballad of a thin man and maggie’s farm for the i’m not there soundtrack when the shit did this happen so excited so excited so excited oh my god
opmuh:
cirrusminor:
opmuh:
cirrusminor:
opmuh:
to the person who just added me on facebook
who are you
oh this is awkward
jokes i just asked you for your tumblr url on fb lolol
just noticed this after going through my reblogged posts touche
i see you’ve killed 30 men.
impressive.
most impressive.
would you like to be the 31st
3 tags
opmuh:
cirrusminor:
opmuh:
to the person who just added me on facebook
who are you
oh this is awkward
jokes i just asked you for your tumblr url on fb lolol
just noticed this after going through my reblogged posts touche
i’ve never been this focused on plucking my eyebrows before in da zone
also while walking in the hallway i put a kleenex in between my shoe-heel area to prevent further damage and to help soak up the blood that resulted from rubbed off epidermis, and the kleenex fell out some girl behind me said, “EW DID YOU SEE THAT THING FALL OUT OF HER SHOE OMG WHAT IS THAT”
ok
wanting to look nice today, i decided to dress up in a skirt/cardigan/flats combo
the flats ended up rubbing off layers of skin on my heel and crushing my toes therefore forcing me to walk like a geriatric patient through the day also now i know how chinese foot binding feels
to add to this, while i was walking up the stairs i’m pretty sure i was up-skirted by a group of unsavory mexican...
don’t ever google image search vaginal prolapse trust me on this one
opmuh:
to the person who just added me on facebook
who are you
oh this is awkward
putting a considerably large dent in my sister’s cookie dough in all probability karma is going to bring the repercussions in the form of salmonella
oh and mark suggested that i might be autistic due to the severity of my social/emotional retardation
the funny part of this is i am still considering it is that even funny what if i’m really autistic you guys
